The Engaged Kids

           I have officially been engaged for 27.5 days. Let me tell you a little about it. SB and I spent the first three days telling everyone we knew (including the cashier at the grocery store. Okay, that was just me) that we were recently and happily engaged! WOO.HOO.

            Immediately after the high of calling family and friends (calling=side effect of living across the country), as any reasonably sane girl might do, I went to Pinterest. And wouldn’t you know it. Pinterest is probably the most useless website I’ve ever been on. I’m not afraid to admit it. My “dream wedding” board had OVER 500 pins and guess how many I repined to my “real life wedding haps” board? THIRTY TWO. THAT’S IT! Good lord. Do you know how many lists of “creative wedding favors” including but not limited to homemade (designer) cookies, homemade jam, candles, matches, soap, coffee beans, sunglasses and flip flops there are? Three billion lists. Exactly. I counted them. My favorite category of lists on Pinterest, and the ones I will spend the most time on today, are the “what to do after you’re engaged” lists. BAHAH. First, I will make fun of said lists. Then, I will make up my own (realistic) list. Finally, I will drive it home.

            So in my search for the perfect chair covers, for creative ways to ask your bridesmaids to support you (hint: the last time I checked, a cute necklace was NOT creative, but cool.), I happened upon several lists including what to do after you get engaged. Let me just start by saying that the fact that this list even needs to exist is a testament to…millennials?...the internet? I don’t know, but I think it’s sad. After you get engaged, you should do whatever you want! Go for a hike! Tell nobody! Tell everyone! Make your engaged couple debut on Facebook if you want! Show everyone your ring! Keep it a really good secret for a while! DO. WHAT. YOU. WANT. What we wanted to do was tell our parents together. We wanted to go out to dinner at a super cute cafe (the CD Café, get it?), and we wanted to tell some people to their voices, some via text, and some we were okay with finding out via facebook. There were some people we knew would be mad if they didn’t get a specific call, so we called those too. Here’s a list of things we didn’t do:

1. Drop everything, including time with my new fiancé, and pay $25 to get a bangin’ manicure.
2. Take engagement photos the week/month of. (did you know you have at least the first ENTIRE half of your engagement to do this? I mean, really you have up until you say “I do” to do this. Lose whatever weight you want to lose, get your hair did, wait until your skin clears up- but do this WHENEVER YOU WANT.) Also, as I’ve discovered, many photographers will offer this for free with booking of your wedding (or pay $500 to do it asap). So if for some reason you MUST have your engagement photographs immediately, find a friend, or a checkbook. Otherwise, you’ll be panicking to find a wedding photographer long before the freak-out is warranted. BUT emailing with and looking at wedding photographers earlier before the money is a real thing might help you get your feet wet with what may be one of the largest purchases of your life, short of your wedding dinner and a down payment on your future house. BUT HEY. If you want photo documentation of everything, you do YOU GIRL (or boy).
3. Have the proposal photographed (pics or it didn’t happen? FALSE.) Is there no such thing as a private moment anymore? SB has to remind me of this on a daily basis. He does a good job.
4. Wait to tell people to their faces. I think this rule was made by pre-engaged people or people who haven’t been engaged in a really long time. Keeping a secret this big physically hurt my stomach a little. I would NOT have been able to keep this from my mom and dad until December 26^th. I would have literally probably melted.
5. Call your mom first. (sorry mom.) Sometimes mom isn’t around. Sometimes there’s someone more accessible. Sometimes the lady standing next to you when it happened knows before mom knows. Sometimes we don’t have a mom. The order in which you tell people (especially if it’s by phone and they’re not near each other) DOES NOT determine your love and affection for these people. It is simply determined by who answers the phone fastest (good job Grandpa Harvey and Grandma Sylvia!). We chose to call in order of matriarchy/patriarchy, starting with Grandparents, then best friends (wanting to tell moms and dads when they were together, after work when they were home and relaxed together, so they could gaze into each other’s eyes and high five each other for knowing that they created little babies who aren’t complete screw ups.)
6. Insure the ring. BECAUSE WE ALREADY HAD. As I understand, although SB can testify to this much better, upon purchasing the ring, you can also apply for insurance. So between all of those pinterest links about setting, cut and color to your S.O., send a link or two about that wonderful thing called engagement ring insurance. I have a good friend who is on her THIRD ring, luckily she’s ensured them all. So just ask Erin!
7. Start thinking about the size of your wedding party…because I’ve been doing this for six months. Spoiler: it sucks.
8. Register for gifts. I love presents (although I love buying gifts for others, probably more than I actually like getting things). Between traveling to, dressing for, and attending a wedding, I appreciate that it costs a lot, especially having loved on the middle of nowhere for the past 3 years. I guess technically you can register for wedding/ engagement gifts if you want, but most places require you to register with a set date, and setting a date means that you have to find a location and set a date, and that’s simply too much pressure in the first week/month of your engagement! Also, spoiler, in the next blog I’ll tell you how insanely miserable it is finding a wedding reception location.

Okay friends. As a reminder, this is a blog post, written my moi, which means that this is the opinion of one person. So, here is a realistic list of things we did after he asked me to marry him:

1. ENJOYED IT.  We got engaged on a beach at the end of a 2 mile hike through the forest, we didn’t pull out our phones for anything but a quick picture and a video for our future children, for the whole walk back.
2. Called whoever we wanted- OR CALL NOBODY! My favorite thing about this was that it was SO MUCH FUN, and it’s not ANYWHERE on the internet. Telling people we were engaged and listening to their reactions was THE BEST. Shout out to my best friend since 7^th grade for freaking out more than I DID when SB asked. She couldn’t even string a sentence together, she was so excited. It was awesome.
3. Shouted it from the car- totes did this to people at the red light next to us. #noshame #bestdayever
4. Eat, so we didn’t have a hangry fight and ruin the first 24 hours of pre-wedded bliss. I’m pretty sure there will be fights between this day and the wedding day, because you don’t stop living just because you get engaged. Keep this day clean.
5. Got two little notebooks, one for you, one for significant other. Make one side the wedding notebook, and the other side, the marriage notebook. Whenever I have a thought about either, I make a note. It sits by my bedside table, with a pen for easy access. The first official thing we did was to make a list of top 3 and top 6 priorities for our wedding, and our marriage. That way, when SB suggests an outrageous dinner package, since I know that food is in his top 3, it doesn’t come as a surprise. Since we haven’t officially started planning, I don’t know if this will actually work, but this is our list.
6. Went wine tasting- this was the original plan before he got down on one knee, so we went for it. It was okay tasting, but gosh it was exciting to show off and grin like an idiot for a little bit. Having another person around made it real.
7. Went out for dinner- I, of course, told everyone in the restaurant, and they were super excited to “hear the story” and watch us grinning and being adorable, and since I love to be the center of attention, IT WAS AWESOME.
8. Give of ourselves. So, I LOVE to be the center of attention, but SB does not. So we did a little, out in public stuff, but then we went home, and just, did us, for a bit. To feed both sides of us. It was really great.

Ultimately, my opinion is that you should do whatever makes you happy. Hunting? Do it. A manicure? Do it. Stay in the kitchen and make dinner? Do it. Flash around town and tell strangers on the street? Do it. But just don’t stop being yourself, and do stop being you (like, the couple you).  27.5 days in and the giddiness has started to wear off a little, but I’m trying to keep it exciting. I haven’t had a change in relationship status in 5 years, so it’s weird adjusting to being engaged. In all my Charlotte-y ness, my next step is reading books about engagement, marriage, and weddings.

Wish me luck!

Engagement Beach!

Holy Crap it's All Happening!

CD Cafe Champagne and Dinner