This post is inspired by my bffl Katie
who is in Israel so she cannot watch the presidential debate. I don't
much care for politics but Katie somehow guilts me into voting every
time. So here is how it will go. I will type everything exactly like
I hear it. I will give myself 4 breaks. Two of them are for food, one
to relieve myself, and one to pick up david whenever his class gets
out. Besides that, I will quote my fave politicians warmly and
accurately. Here goes nothing: (Note- I don't have a tv that I can
pause so I'll simply do my best) (Other Note- Parenthesizes will be
my initial thoughts within the debate. For more funsies.)
some videos to get you in the
mood:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTqaLiq2kqQ
2. if you love me, and you are
republican or like mitt Romney, PLEASE STOP READING. I'm pretty sure
you will have less respect for me and all my Rommy and Obammy jokes,
it's really not necessary, I value our friendship MUCH more than any
silly election or politician and I BEG YOU TO STOP READING IF YOU
VALUE MY LOVE AT ALL.
3. Let's begin.
C- Comentator
M-Mitty Ditty Romney/Rommy
pommy/Rommykins etc. a.k.a. Mitt Romney
O- Obams, Prezi, etc. a.k.a President
Barak Obama
c-What are the differences between the
two of you about how you would go about creating new jobs
(coin picks obams to go first, lucky)
O-thanks for having me here, sweety,
happy anniversary, next year I'll do better. (That's what they all
say, OBAMA.) We had a bad financial depression 4 years ago. Because
America is the BOMB, we've gotten better. 5 million jobs, I love
cars, housing is rising. The question is, where are we going? Rommy
says we should cut taxes and reggies. I think we should invest in
education, small buzi's and focus on MERICA. And we should also
reduce our deficit and make investments. Embrace economic patriotism.
I heart the middle class. WORD.
M- THANKS FOR THE HONOR, GO Denny
(DENVER). Congrats on obams for 20 years. I'm tender. I have been
meeting people who have no jobs. Can I help? YES I CAN. (This one
sounds vaguely familiar.) I'm NOT going to cut taxes for the rich,
I'm going to make us energy independent, buy stuff from Mexico
instead of China, call China out on their shinanies, balance the
budget, make schools better duh, and CHAMPION small business. Obams
wants to spend more, tax more, and have a big government.
C-Obams, talk about what he just said
about trickledown
O- I'll tell you what we should do. We
need to improve education. Both parties are already helping. Go
America. Improve commy colleges, keep money givins low, lower public
tax rate, I want to close loopholes for companies shipping jobs
overseas because Murica needs us some jobbie-kins. We both care about
energy (bc we like light bulbs probs), I care about sciency energy
like wind and biofuel and methane (lolz). I want to make us owe the
world less too. Rommy wants to cut taxes just like Bushy-poo and give
money to the military that didn't ask for it and doesn't need it. How
do we do this without dumping the cost on the sad lonesome middle
class?
C- Commy Rommy?
M-We need to give middle income
Americans a break, “I don't plan on doing anything for the upper
class, they are just fine whether i'm the prezi or you are.”
(Almost direct quote) I'm listing costs of middle income families and
counting on my fingers. We need to balance the budget, train people
to work, and we need to get dollars back to states so that americans
can use the $ to go back to work bc the states will probs give it to
them instead of use it for their own giant debts. Probs. We should
take down taxes for everyone, except loopholes for the rich people.
All of the increase of natural gas and oil has happened on public
land. Public land has developed only half as much as they used too.
So it's actually costing more, apparently (Should probs check this
one with a scientist. Unfortunately I only have an engineer.) I'll
double that.(double existence on planet of natural gas? LOLZ.
Rosarita Bean stock just went UP!) Coal people are being ignored. (le
Poo) I will have no tax cut that adds to the deficit... I cannot
reduce the budget taken on by high income MURICANS.
C- Prezi?
O- I said I would cut taxes for middle
class families. And I did. By $3600. (probs per household or person)
We do best when the middle class does well.(yay) They were in a
better position to deal with the recession. They are spending this
money and putting it into the economy. Rommy hasn't come up with any
specific ways to close loopholes and deductions. Even if he answered
that and added all that monays up, it still wouldn't be enough to
cover the things he wants to spend. (Rommy is loling at his hands.)
Economists say that your plan won't work.
C-well, what is the difference?
M- He is inaccurate about the tax plan
that I have planned. (telling the prezi he is wrong? Rude! jk :) )He
is wrong. I have said I won't add to the deficit with my tax plan. I
have a million kids, I know what gossip is, stop spreading it. I WILL
NOT raise taxes on middle income families. You cited a study, there
were 5 that contradicted you. I want to bring the rates down so we
keep getting the revenue we need. (Charlotte thinks this sounds like
a contradiction but does not quite understand how this would work,
hypothetically, of course.) Small business pays that individual rate.
For me this is about getting jobs.
C- Challenge?
O- Well, for 18 months he's been
running on this tax plan and now 5 weeks before the election, his big
bold plan is, nevermind! (touche bommy, touche) My tax plan has
already lowered taxes for middle class families. I lowered taxes for
small businesses 18 times. For incomes over 200,000 a year, we should
go back to clinty's rule b/c he made EXTRA monaays. This way, we can
make the investments that we want. We do have different definitions
of small businesses. Donald Trump is a small business to Rommykins,
if they are getting business income. That approach will not pay for
our economy bc unless we burden the middle class, or gain a deficit,
we will be making cuts to our important social programs.
C- We suck at time keepingMm- Excuse
me, I'm not done. The 3% of small businesses employ HALF of small
business workings. (Carlota no comprendo.)This little guy in St.
Louis with an electric store is paying over 50%.(i'm pretty sure he
knew that going into it...just saying.) If you tax them more, that
will cost us 700,000 jobs. Get the rates down, lower exemptions, make
more jobs. That way, everyone is paying more taxes. (waaaait...)
O- I say this to the American people
“if you want to cut 7 trilly dollas, and close loopholes and
deductions to pay for it, the vote for Rommy. But common sense and
history shows that that actually won't get more jobbies.” Rommy is
saying the same thing as Bushy, both years. Now we are in the worst
depression since the 30s. Clinty was awesome obvi, and I'm on his
side. Look at the data. America rocks, rich people should pay for the
country that raised them.
fight breaks out with C and M
because time is running over. Rommy is a smart ass, again.
m-blah blah, I didn't say I wanted to
cut 5 trillion, in the past 25 years, the status quo will not help
make jobs, I won't add to the deficit. (But in more words.)
C- How do you go about tackling the
deficit in this country? (me- nooooooo, THEY JUST SPENT 10 MINUTES
FIGHTING ABOUT THIS AND NOT GETTING ANYWHERE AND NOW YOU'RE JUST
EGGING THEM ON. SIR, You are just asking for it. Deal with your
consequences.)
M- Not just economic, it's moral. My
generation is spending too much, knowing that the next generation
will have to pay it off. (Trying to get my generation's vote, makes a
point, but doesn't get the vote due to previous smirks at a respected
political figure aka Obams.) Let's use math to see. 1. raise taxes,
2. cut spending, 3. grow the economy (make jobs, get more jobs).
Obams wants to raise taxes, so #3 wont happen. I want to lower
spending. I will eliminate all programs if: they are so critical that
we are willing to borrow from China to pay for it, cut obamacare, cut
pbs (I like big bird, but I don't like you enough to keep you
employed. (rude. TEAM ELMO.), send programs to the state level
(California go F yourself because you will implode without federal
funding, btw. NO MORE VEGGIES FOR ALL!), cut back govt. to make more
efficient, cut employees. Obams doubled the deficit.
O- We know where that debt came
from.(oooooooooh, repubby buuuuurnnn!) Two wars paid for on a credit
card, two tax cuts that were not paid for. (and that one time the
country almost ceased to exist due to running out of money to pay all
the senators and stuff.) We took emergency measures to avoid
depression, cut things that don't help us grow, cut aircrafts from
the airforce (RIP F-22, SAD. DAY. And THAT Rommy is NOT a rumor. ASK
DAVID.), 18 education programs that weren't effective, went after
fraud in medicare and medicaid, worked w Repubs and Demi's to cut
domestic discretionary budget. I put forward a something trillion
dollar cut plan, I'm going to ask for donations from the Richies to
save our country! (IDK if that makes complete sense but you're hot so
sure...I'll take it.). At the RNC, rommy was asked if he would take
$10 of spending cuts for just one dolla of revenue, he said no.
(Please reexplain Obams...) Sending these programs to the states will
cut 30 million. p.s. I have a plan for 4 billion in cuts in the
works.
M- If you're elected, obviously the
deficit will triple again. (Yes Rommykins, that's how interest
works.) YOU said you were going to extend tax cuts before. The
economy is even slower than 4 years ago, why would you raise taxes
now?
ICE CREAM BREAK.
M- I don't want to go down the path to
Spain (WOAH BRO.WOAH. VOTE.LOST.) (P.S. Unless you mean you don't
want to ever have a winning soccer team, that I could deal with. VIVA
ESPANA!)
O-Let's bring it back to MURICA and
talk about corporate taxes. The oil industry gets 4 billion a year in
corporate welfare. If you are rich enough to know what a PJ is, then
you can pay taxes, the teacher I met in LV that has 42 kids in her
class, sitting on the floor with 10 year old text books (P.S. What
are they learning about science from the 1990s and is Bill Nye the
science guy there?), that isn't a recipe for grown, that isn't how
MURICA was built. Rommy didn't identify loopholes to close, I have.
M- I have soooooooo much to say about
all of that. You gave 90 billion dolla bills to green
energy.(aaaaandd?) You don't just pick the winners or losers, you
pick the losers.( charchar comment: If green energy is losesrs then
in 100 years we are ALL going to be losers because we will have no
lightbulbs and nobody will get to see Disneyland's 100th
birthday, NOBODY WANTS THAT ROMMERS.) About the tax break for
shipping plants overseas, IDK WHAT you are talking about and I've
been in business forever. Medicaid for states- I don't know where
that came from, but I want to move that to the states. Repubbys and
Demis used to plead for that. (Show me the Carfax!!)
C- is there a difference on you two
with social security? (a.k.a. now win the middle aged vote.
Reeeeadddyyyy....GO.)
Char,Char- PRAAABLY!
O- We are similar. It will need to be
tweeked as before. It is structurally sound. I want to talk about
medicare because that is an issue. My grandma raised me, died 3 days
before I was elected president.(aaaawwwwwwwww. No but whoever you
are, that BLOWS FOR REAL.) She could be independent because of SS.
She worked all her life, and knew that there was a level of poverty
under which she could not go. My approach is to strengthen the system
over long term. We will have to bring down the costs to deal with
deficits. We send 16 billion by stopping over paying and improving
preventative care. Also drugs cost less. You don't need a major
structural change to secure it for the future.
C- You have 2 minies. (Minutes. Which
really means 10.)
M-I won't changing anything for current
medicare earners. Oh wait, I just thought of a change. They are
cutting rates and limiting patients who can see doctors. 15% of
doctors wont see anymore medicare patients. How can you cut so much
medicare? I want to put that 7 billion back to medicare. I want to
make sure that ss and medicare are there without any discussion.
O- I don't support Rommies voucher
plan. Ryan's plan is that we would give a voucher to seniors and they
could go buy their own health insurance.(BAM. FREEDOM. DONE.) The
problem is that the voucher wouldn't keep up with inflation.
(SERVED.) It will cost 6,000 a year. He will now maintain medicare.
The health care companies will accept the younger people. If you
repeal obamacare, seniors will immediately be paying $600 more for
prescriptions. The insurance companies will just end up getting
monaaays back.
C-do you support the voucher system?
M- What I support is no change,(except
the one I already said obvi.) and Obams wants to take 7 billion out
of that program. For young people. I want them to be able to choose
one of two plans there they may choose their insurance. They can
choose an insurance company or the govt.s plan. That's what I would
prefer to do. For higher income ppl, we need to lower some of the
benies.
O- Private has to make a profit, that
money has to come from somewhere. AARP thinks your plan will weaken
medicare. (and if anyone get's an official opinion on this matter,
it's AARP, even though they sent me a membership letter on my 20th
birthday and I will NEVER forgive them.)
** Romney interrupts C AGAIN**
C- What is your view of federal
regulation of the economy? Too much? Or should there be more?
M-Regulation is essential. You have to
have regulation for a free economy. At the same time, it is excessive
and out of date. Some of the legislation passed under Obams and it is
harmful. ex. Certain banks are guaranteed by the govt.
O- Dod Frank was correct. We Need to
save main street.
FACEBOOK BREAK
M- We need to get rid of certain parts
of Dod Frank, like giving mortgages to unqualified people. We have
hurt the housing market...says a bunch of other stuff...interrupting
C over and over. Rude.
C- Let's move to healthcare. I know
there is a clear difference. You each get TWO MINUTES. You want an
affordable care after appeal. Why?
M- I sure do! In part, of my experience
...people coming up to me saying that they can't afford their
insurance... obama care will cost 2,500/year more than traditional
insurance. He said he would bring down the cost of insurance by that
much but instead it goes up. It cuts 16 billion from medicare to pay
for it, I want to put that back. It puts in place a board that tells
people what treatments they can do. I don't like that. A survey of
small businesses said that it is harder to hire people. Lets bring it
to the state, and then bring costs down. Something something, kitchen
table. (DRINK AND BANG HEAD ON TABLE!)
O- I was having those same
conversations with people. It was families who worried about going
bankrupt if they got sick. They couldn't get coverage or there was a
limit so their insurance still didn't cover their bills. We did work
on this, to secure middle class families. This is what obamacare did.
If you had health insurance, you can keep it, but insurance
companies can't jerk you around. THE 26 YEAR OLD RULEE!!! and that
you get rebates if the insurance company is spending on
administration and not care. We've seen this model work well, in
Maassechusets, because Rommy did a good thing by setting up the exact
same thing. It didnt destroy jobs, and it didnt leave people out in
the cold.
C- Why is what he said wrong?
M- I like the way we did it in my
state,. We had Demis and Repubbies work together. You didn't do that,
you pushed it through with Nancy and harry so you drove it through.
(because SOMEBODY was being a crabby patty and didn't want to agree
with them. Duh. JK, I actually have no idea what happened because I
don't pay attention to politics. Carry on.) We worked together with
87% democrat, we didn't raise taxes, we didn't cut medicare (we
didn't have it), we didn't put in place a board to tell them what
treatments they couldn't receive. CEO says 20 million ppl. will lose
insurance as obamacare goes into effect. This is why the American
people don't want medicare, I mean, obamacare. The republicans put a
plan out, a bi-partisan plan out and it was swept aside. We need a
President who can reach across the aisle and work with everyone.
(pretty sure Obams did this, but maybs I'm crazy.)
O- The fact of the matter is that we
used the same visors and came up with the same plans. And this board.
This board is doctors, advisers, etc. sent in to reduce the cost of
healthcare overall. At Cleveland Clinic, one of the best health care
systems in the world, they do it for cheaper. They have the patient
come in and do one test, instead of run around to each doctor. Let's
pay providers on the basis of performance instead of amount of
procedures. Let's institutionalize all the good things that we do.
Once obamacare is in effect, the change will show. The rate has been
going up, but slower than it has in the past 50 years. Rommy is a
poop.
C- Respond?
(TEXTING BREAK)
O- When gov. Romey says he will replace
the new system with something, but he doesn't tell us what. It
reminds me of him wanting to fix wall street, but he doesn't tell us
how, he'll fix medicare, but he wont tell how. Is he keeping these
plans secret because they are too good? Middle class families will
benefit too much from them? These are tough problems and we have to
make choices.
C-we're going to move...
M- I have to respond to that. (OF
COURSE you do.) I don't come in and say my way or the high way. That
doesn't get things done. I have principles but I am going to work
together with congress to come up with deductions. There are
alternatives to achieve what I want to do. You have studied up on my
preexisting condition plan. Mass is a model for the nation, state by
state. Whisking away the rights of the 10th amendment,
which gives rights to these kinds of things, will not be effective.
Educational Commercial Break -
*** It's time for.... HISTORY LESSON
WITH A HISTORY MAJOR!!!! Starring, CHARLOTTE and THE 10TH AMENDMENT!!
(and Wikipedia)***
CharChar- If anyone was wondering what
the 10th amendment of the Bill of Rights specifically says
(since some of the other points of the Bill of Rights create things
such as the United States Postal Service, ground breaking, right?), I
thought I, as one of the most qualified individuals of this great
country as a history major, might actually be able to weigh in here.
The 10th Amendment, and I quote (wikipedia) states, “the
Constitution's principle of federalism by providing that powers not
granted to the federal government nor prohibited to the States by the
Constitution are reserved to the States or the people.”
This means (to me, as it is debatable
because that's how they intentionally wrote it,) that anything not
specifically delegated to the Federal Government as a responsibility
can be sent to the states. Now, since several powers (such as
social security) have been taken on by the Federal Government, it is
not necessarily vital that they be sent to the states and the
Constitution is not saying that they MUST be sent to the states, it
is just leaving it open as an option. If the states do not have the
means or capacity to deal with these responsibilities (ex. California
and Social Security b/c they are broke as a stick), then it may not
be the best idea to hand of those responsibilities at this moment in
time. In short, 10th Amendment, a.k.a. How the Civil War
started. Bro, use it don't abuse it. Enough said.
C- Is there a fundamental difference
between the two of you of the fundamental government.
O- Yes. The first role of the govt. is
to keep people safe. I also believe that the fed gov has the capacity
to open opportunity for ppl. to succeed. Freedom enables ppl. To have
their own business, but as Abe Lincoln said, there are also some
things that we do better together (railroad, land grant collages,
science thingy) (also abe Lincoln used all of the people who hated
him to win the country back together...just saying...go Mary
Goodwin). Because if all Americans are getting opportunities, we will
all be better off. I've tried to do the same. We have worked to
reform the education system. 46 states have made a difference. Let's
hire another 100,000 math and science teachers to maintain our
technological lead. Rommy things we don't need more teachers.
M-First, I love great schools. Mass has
the best schools in the us, and great teachers make great schools.
Then I had to go pick David up from his
final. But I'm sure the rest was just as fabulous.
That's all for now, Char Char
