I did not turn in a reflect page at the end of class yesterday because I wasn't ready to talk about it. But I am now.
Yesterday in class, I made a comment about why are sexuality labels important. The class responded with "That's called colorblindness."
My immediate reaction was that I was incredibly offended. I obviously know what color blindness is, I stood up in front of the class and talked about it two weeks ago. I'm not an idiot, and I also know that no part of colorblindness is a positive thing. I was also offended that someone in the class would think that I was dumb enough to offer that up as a public comment for everyone else to hear. If I was uneducated enough to think that colorblindness might be the slightest bit acceptable, I'm DEFINITELY not dumb enough to open my mouth about it in a class that appears to be so progressive. But after 5 classes together, apparently you think I am just that stupid.
After taking time to work it out in my head, and figure out what I meant to say, this is my response:
My original point was twofold. I know that I phrased this wrong based on the response, but my first question was, if the journey to finding or choosing the appropriate label is more detrimental than the results of having that label (or only lead to detrimental results associated with that label), then why are we pressuring people to choose and giving them all these options? Why can't people just make their own label if they choose, or NOT make their own label if they choose NOT to? I think student affairs perpetuates this need to identify every possible identity to effectively work with students. We need to have a discussion about the fact that sometimes not having to make that choice is more beneficial than the frustration of going through the process, only to find yourself completely alone once you come to a conclusion.
In my life, I have chosen to play in the mud, to not wear the pink, these, my definition, make me less feminine. I have chosen to continue living under the label of feminine female. Does that make me a liar and a fake? MAYBE. But I prefer not to deal with that label because I am okay being labeled how I am- feminine female- I'm lucky enough to say that there is a very slim chance of someone telling me that I should then create a new label for myself because I'm not what I appear I am, and I'm not what I say I am. I have lady parts, I wear dresses, and I'm romantically involved with someone who identifies as a man in all the same ways.
In addition to still disagreeing that not labeling sexuality is absolutely nothing like colorblindness for a variety of other reasons, the message that I was trying to get across from my original comment was NOT "Why can't everyone be treated the same and we don't need these identities" (How it was apparently perceived by someone who spoke up about it).
The comment I was trying to make was this: Why can't we be PEOPLE first and labels second? Why can't we define ourselves by our feelings and actions FIRST and not our preference to have or not have sex with someone with or without a vagina? If someone's actions reflect or tie in to one of their identities, that's great, and we'll learn that about them along the way.
As we continue to learn about identities, I think a week at the beginning of the semester to focus on this idea that people are people (and love is love) would have been beneficial. We have been focusing a lot on identities in this class, can I just identify as human sometimes?
Yes this might be boiled down to the bare minimum of understanding, but this is also a reflection, and we all have more to learn. It's never this simple, and I know that. I'm on the journey. And sometimes it sucks.
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