here we go again.

<----- this might seem trivial but anybody who knows me to well will tell you that it took me a long time to be able to say the following statement out loud and/or type it and actually believe it: I DESERVE THIS!!!!!

so now that you're following me (all 1.5 of you), i ask one thing of you. if you do actually take the time to read this, take the time to think about it as well, and please feel no need to comment. i'd prefer introspection.


<3 nitty gritty.
list of things I am good at: -making people feel good (usually)
-annoying my father with commercially christmas-y joy
- cooking select recipes.


also, i would just like to say, that i am incredibly happy at this exact moment in my life. feeling appreciated by someone more than mom and dad is pretty great. I have a lot on my plate the next 7 weeks and i hope it doesn't interfere with what is really important. I also hope that what is really important doesn't interfere with me being a productive human being. I love purple crayons. I need to finish my pillowcases and buy more puff paint. Also Glee isn't as great as it used to be. I also want to keep planning to go to death valley in December because i am having major MAJOR with drawls. it's been like 3 years and that is not okay. Also this thing they call a roof over my head seems to be crushing the spirit out of me. I need some Chilly Peppers and some dirt in my coffee. xx please make this happen for me. That is all I want for Christmas. joy, dirt, and some acknowledgment from my parents that I am in fact, my own person. I think they're figuring it out with how much I'm working this quarter so that's kind of super exciting. But I still feel like I'm waiting to start my life, which i'm not sure I like. In a few months absolutely everything is going to change. Maybe not as much as I think. I already live on my own. I've learned how to (usually) not lose my key, I've learned how to clean a bender, I've learned that you're not supposed to melt crayons on the carpet or to car seat fabric. I've learned that it's usually not a good idea to drink too much when you don't have the available recovery time and food. I'm pretty sure those are the basics. But i've been in school for two decades, for my whole life. that's literally all I've ever known. I'm terrified but insanely excited to get into life and see what happens. eekk!

Pandora: "All I Want For Christmas is You"- Mariah Carrie Playlist